Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

To label me an intellectual is

Dick Cavett

If God wanted us to bend

Joan Rivers

All generalizations are false, including this

Mark Twain

I haven't spoken to my wife

Rodney Dangerfield

Tragedy is when I cut my

Mel Brooks

Be thankful we're not getting all

Will Rogers

This suspense is terrible. I hope

Oscar Wilde

I have had a perfectly wonderful

Groucho Marx

I don't think anyone should write

Samuel Goldwyn

Children are smarter than any of

Bill Hicks

The four building blocks of the

Dave Barry

California is a fine place to

Fred Allen

I like a woman with a

Steve Martin

If you don't mind, it doesn't

Jack Benny

It has yet to be proven

Arthur C. Clarke

Best way to get rid of

Phyllis Diller

He looks as though he's been

Alice Roosevelt Longworth

A pessimist is a person who

Don Marquis

I wish the government would put

Edith Sitwell

I think they should have a

Ellen DeGeneres
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