Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

Forty for you, sixty for me.

Joan Rivers

I'm undaunted in my quest to

Hillary Clinton

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when

George Carlin

I saw a woman wearing a

Arnold Schwarzenegger

I have a very low level

Dylan Moran

The tax collector must love poor

Bill Vaughan

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as

Jay Leno

Turn up the lights. I don't

O. Henry

I read part of it all

Samuel Goldwyn

The fascination of shooting as a

P. G. Wodehouse

Why do you have to be

James Thurber

When God sneezed, I didn't know

Henny Youngman

A James Cagney love scene is

Bob Hope

You see much more of your

Lucille Ball

If I had to live my

W. C. Fields

How long was I in the

Spike Milligan

The IRS! They're like the Mafia,

Jerry Seinfeld

If I were two-faced, would I

Abraham Lincoln

Anyone who says he can see

Groucho Marx

Say what you will about the

H. L. Mencken
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