Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

If you have a secret, people

Rob Corddry

I was born in very sorry

Norman Wisdom

When I was born I owed

George S. Kaufman

I like children - fried.

W. C. Fields

May the forces of evil become

George Carlin

As for our majority... one is

Benjamin Disraeli

I love to go to Washington

Bob Hope

I drank some boiling water because

Mitch Hedberg

Who included me among the ranks

Joseph Brodsky

A vegetarian is a person who

David Brenner

Who picks your clothes Stevie

Don Rickles

I have tried to know absolutely

Robert Benchley

I'm spending a year dead for

Douglas Adams

When you are courting a nice

Albert Einstein

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every

Zsa Zsa Gabor

They say marriages are made in

Clint Eastwood

Tact is the ability to describe

Abraham Lincoln

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but

H. L. Mencken

I quit therapy because my analyst

Richard Lewis

Before I refuse to take your

Ronald Reagan
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