Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

It's simple, if it jiggles, it's

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Prejudice is a great time saver.

E. B. White

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

George Carlin

Between two evils, I always pick

Mae West

I always wanted to be somebody,

Lily Tomlin

I found there was only one

Rodney Dangerfield

Never put a sock in a

Eddie Izzard

A successful man is one who

Lana Turner

Roses are red, violets are blue,

Oscar Levant

I love deadlines. I like the

Douglas Adams

There cannot be a crisis next

Henry Kissinger

My grandmother started walking five miles

Ellen DeGeneres

We are all born mad. Some

Samuel Beckett

I no doubt deserved my enemies,

Walt Whitman

I would never die for my

Bertrand Russell

By all means let's be open-minded,

Richard Dawkins

Any girl can be glamorous. All

Hedy Lamarr

That's my only goal. Surround myself

Joe Rogan

If you haven't got anything nice

Alice Roosevelt Longworth

I buy expensive suits. They just

Warren Buffett
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