I'm happy that I wrote 'How Should a Person Be?' and I wouldn't have written that exact book if we had just done the play. So much of the book is about the anxiety of failure - the failure of the play and the failure of the divorce and the failure of not feeling like a good person.

The quote by Sheila Heti—“I'm happy that I wrote 'How Should a Person Be?' and I wouldn't have written that exact book if we had just done the play. So much of the book is about the anxiety of failure—the failure of the play and the failure of the divorce and the failure of not feeling like a good person”—reflects the deeply personal and introspective nature of her work. Heti acknowledges that the process of writing the book was shaped by multiple forms of failure and anxiety in her life, including the failure of a play, a divorce, and her internal struggle with self-worth. These experiences became central themes that she explored through her writing, making the book a raw and honest exploration of vulnerability.

By contrasting the book with the play, Heti suggests that the medium of the novel allowed her to delve deeper into her emotional landscape. While the play may have been a more external or collaborative form of expression, the book provided a space for personal reflection and grappling with complex feelings of failure and identity. This demonstrates how different artistic formats can shape the content and emotional honesty of a creator’s work.

Sheila Heti is known for blending fiction, memoir, and philosophical inquiry in her writing. How Should a Person Be? is often described as a semi-autobiographical novel that explores themes of existential anxiety, relationships, and self-discovery. This quote likely originates from interviews or discussions where Heti reflects on the origins and emotional core of the book, highlighting the significance of confronting personal failures to create meaningful art.

Ultimately, Heti’s quote underscores the idea that failure, while painful, can be a profound source of inspiration and insight. It reveals how personal struggles—whether public like a failed play or private like a divorce—can fuel creative expression and lead to works that resonate deeply with readers who face similar fears and uncertainties.