Giving married women an independent legal existence did not destroy heterosexual marriage. And allowing husbands and wives to construct their marriages around reciprocal duties and negotiated roles - where a wife can choose to be the main breadwinner and a husband can stay home with the children - was an immense boon to many couples.

In this quote, Stephanie Coontz discusses the evolution of marriage and gender roles, challenging the idea that providing married women with an independent legal existence would undermine traditional relationships. Historically, women were often seen as legally dependent on their husbands, but the shift toward equality allowed women to have their own legal and financial independence. Coontz argues that this shift did not destroy heterosexual marriage but, in fact, helped it adapt to changing societal norms.

Coontz also emphasizes how the move toward reciprocal duties and negotiated roles in marriage empowered both partners. In modern relationships, couples can choose roles based on mutual agreement rather than rigid gender expectations. The flexibility to decide who plays which role—whether a wife becomes the main breadwinner or a husband stays home with the children—reflects this shift in how marriages are structured.

This concept of partnership based on mutual respect and adaptability is what Coontz considers a significant improvement. It allowed couples to redefine their relationships in ways that suited their needs, fostering greater equality and satisfaction. Instead of seeing marriage as a one-size-fits-all arrangement, couples could now build a more personalized partnership based on shared values and goals.

Ultimately, Coontz’s quote champions the idea that equality and choice in marriage benefit both partners, showing that the ability to negotiate roles can lead to stronger and more fulfilling relationships.