Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose as a friend if he were a woman.

In this quote, Joseph Joubert emphasizes the importance of choosing a life partner based on qualities that would make them a desirable friend, regardless of their gender. He suggests that when considering marriage, one should look for a partner who embodies the same values, respect, and trustworthiness that are essential in a good friendship. By framing this advice in terms of choosing a friend if the partner were a woman, Joubert highlights that the qualities that make someone a good friend—such as mutual understanding, loyalty, and emotional compatibility—are equally important in a romantic relationship.

Joubert’s statement also underscores the idea that marriage is not just a union based on love or physical attraction, but also on deep mutual respect and a strong emotional bond. Just as you would choose a friend who aligns with your values and enhances your life, the same should be true for a spouse. The concept reflects a more mature and thoughtful approach to marriage, one that goes beyond superficial qualities to focus on a partnership grounded in genuine connection and shared understanding.

This advice also reflects Joubert’s broader views on human relationships. He often explored the balance between emotion and reason in his writings, and this quote reinforces the idea that friendship should be the foundation of any lasting romantic partnership. By emphasizing the importance of treating a spouse as one would a best friend, Joubert calls for a marriage that fosters equality, respect, and companionship over traditional gender roles or external expectations.

Ultimately, Joubert’s quote is a call to choose a life partner who complements you emotionally and intellectually, making the relationship one based on friendship rather than just passion or convenience. This perspective encourages individuals to seek a marriage that is built on mutual respect, trust, and a shared connection—qualities that make both the partnership and the friendship thrive.