Neither of us entered marriage thinking it wouldn't be a strain. Life has strains in it, and he's the person I want to strain with.

In this quote, Patricia Arquette reflects on the nature of marriage and the challenges that come with it. She acknowledges that marriage is not an easy or problem-free endeavor, but rather something that requires effort and commitment. By saying, "Neither of us entered marriage thinking it wouldn't be a strain," Arquette emphasizes the realistic understanding that strains—whether emotional, financial, or otherwise—are a natural part of any long-term relationship.

The key idea here is that life itself is filled with challenges, and those challenges often become part of the marriage experience. Arquette goes on to say, "he’s the person I want to strain with," which suggests that, despite the hardships, marriage is about choosing to face them together. Rather than seeing strains as something to avoid or fear, she views them as opportunities to grow and strengthen the bond with her partner. This perspective suggests that the quality of a relationship is not defined by the absence of problems, but by the shared effort in facing them.

Arquette’s view is a mature and grounded one, recognizing that no relationship, including marriage, can be entirely free of difficulties. In contrast to the idealized notion of a perfect or effortless marriage, she highlights the importance of shared resilience and the mutual decision to tackle life’s obstacles as a team. This type of mindset underscores the importance of commitment, partnership, and understanding in sustaining a lasting relationship.

This quote, coming from Arquette’s personal experience, challenges romanticized portrayals of marriage in popular culture, offering a more realistic and pragmatic approach. Instead of seeing marriage as something that should always feel easy or fulfilling, she embraces the idea that hard work, shared challenges, and growth are integral to a fulfilling partnership.