In marriage there are no manners to keep up, and beneath the wildest accusations no real criticism. Each is familiar with that ancient child in the other who may erupt again. We are not ridiculous to ourselves. We are ageless. That is the luxury of the wedding ring.
The quote, "In marriage there are no manners to keep up, and beneath the wildest accusations no real criticism. Each is familiar with that ancient child in the other who may erupt again. We are not ridiculous to ourselves. We are ageless. That is the luxury of the wedding ring," comes from Enid Bagnold, an English novelist and playwright. Bagnold is known for her works that explore the complexities of human relationships, especially in terms of intimacy and personal growth. This quote reflects her perspective on the profound connection and comfort that marriage can bring, emphasizing the freedom that comes with deeply knowing and accepting another person.
In this statement, Bagnold suggests that in a successful marriage, the formalities and manners often required in other relationships are stripped away. Over time, partners in a marriage reach a level of comfort where they no longer feel the need to uphold a façade, allowing them to express their true selves without fear of judgment. This freedom, however, does not mean there is a lack of respect—rather, it implies an acceptance of the imperfections in each other, including the childlike or more vulnerable aspects that can emerge in moments of conflict.
The quote also touches on the idea that beneath the accusations or conflicts that may arise in marriage, there is often no true criticism of character. Bagnold highlights that couples know each other so well that they understand the underlying emotional or psychological triggers behind these moments. She suggests that marriage offers a space where partners can forgive and support each other through these eruptions, recognizing the vulnerabilities in each other without seeing them as weaknesses or flaws.
Ultimately, Bagnold’s statement reflects the unique and often unspoken depth of a marriage, where both individuals can be their authentic selves—flaws and all—without fear of being judged or ridiculed. The luxury of the wedding ring symbolizes this deep, unconditional acceptance and the enduring nature of the commitment that marriage represents. In a way, it’s a celebration of the timeless bond that allows partners to grow old together without losing the joy of being fully known and loved.
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