If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.

The quote “If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves” is attributed to Carl Jung, the Swiss psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, and founder of analytical psychology. Jung was deeply interested in the dynamics of the unconscious mind, the development of the self, and the transmission of psychological patterns from one generation to the next. This quote reflects his insight into the interconnectedness between adults—especially parents or educators—and the children they influence.

At its core, the quote is a call for self-reflection. Jung suggests that when we notice a troubling behavior or attitude in a child, we should pause and consider whether it might be a mirror of our own unresolved issues or unexamined habits. Children often absorb, consciously or unconsciously, the emotional environments and behavioral cues of the adults around them. Thus, what we interpret as a flaw in the child may actually be a projection of our own inner conflicts.

This idea aligns with Jung’s broader theory of the shadow—the hidden or repressed aspects of our personality that we may disown but still project onto others. By becoming aware of how our unconscious influences shape our expectations of children, we can become more compassionate and effective guides. Instead of imposing change from a place of judgment, we are encouraged to pursue growth in ourselves, thereby modeling healthier behaviors and attitudes.

Ultimately, Jung's quote emphasizes that the path to transforming a child’s behavior often begins with transforming ourselves. It challenges adults to take responsibility, to lead by example, and to understand that real development—in families, classrooms, or societies—depends on deep inner work as much as external guidance. It’s a powerful reminder that the most lasting change starts from within.