I was raised Catholic. Not just a little bit Catholic, like my wife, Catherine. When she was young, many Catholics in France already barely went to church, except for the big three: baptism, marriage, and funeral. And only the middle one was by choice.

Frans de Waal’s quote contrasts his deeply rooted Catholic upbringing with his wife Catherine’s more secular experience of Catholicism in France. He notes that while he was raised in a family where Catholicism played a significant role, his wife grew up in a more relaxed religious environment, where most people participated in church rituals only for the major life events—baptism, marriage, and funeral—with marriage being the only one done by personal choice. This distinction highlights the varying levels of religious observance and the cultural shifts in how Catholicism is practiced across different regions and generations.

The origin of this quote is tied to de Waal’s reflections on his own religious background and his observations of how religion functions in modern societies. De Waal, a renowned primatologist, is known for his work on the social behaviors of animals and often discusses broader philosophical and societal themes. In this case, he reflects on how Catholicism has evolved in Western cultures, particularly in France, where it no longer holds the central role it once did in daily life.

De Waal’s words also touch on the secularization of society, especially in parts of Europe, where religion has become less central to people’s everyday lives. By contrasting his own devout upbringing with his wife’s experience, he subtly comments on the shifting role of religion in modern life, where many people attend church only for specific cultural or familial occasions rather than as a regular part of their spiritual practice. This highlights the changing relationship between individuals and religious traditions over time.

Ultimately, de Waal’s quote offers insight into the cultural differences between generations and regions in their approach to Catholicism and religion in general. It reflects how personal experiences with faith can vary greatly, even within the same religious tradition, and suggests that Catholicism today is often seen as a more symbolic or ritualistic practice, rather than a daily guiding force for many people.