All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership.

The quote by Ann Landers reflects her practical and candid view on marriage. When she says, “All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love,” she emphasizes that conflict is a natural and necessary part of relationships, just as intimacy is. The comparison suggests that both passion and disagreement, when handled properly, can strengthen a marriage rather than weaken it.

She further explains that good battle is “objective and honest—never vicious or cruel.” This means disagreements should focus on issues rather than personal attacks. Healthy conflict allows couples to express frustrations, resolve problems, and prevent resentment from festering. By approaching arguments with fairness and respect, couples can turn conflict into an opportunity for growth rather than destruction.

The origin of this quote lies in Landers’ long career as an advice columnist, where she dispensed wisdom on relationships, love, and family life to millions of readers. Known for her straightforward style, she often encouraged people to face problems directly instead of avoiding them. Her statement about battle within marriage reflects her belief that honesty, communication, and fairness are the real keys to lasting relationships.

Ultimately, Landers’ insight reframes conflict as a constructive tool. She shows that equal partnership in marriage is not about avoiding fights but about learning how to fight well—with respect, honesty, and care. In this way, both love and disagreement become essential to building a strong, balanced, and enduring union.