When you have a lot of communication online before you go out with someone, it builds up a false sense of who the person is. There's a tendency to fill in the blanks with positive information.

Joanna Coles’ quote highlights the potential pitfalls of online communication, particularly when it comes to forming connections with others before meeting in person. She suggests that engaging in a lot of communication online can create a false sense of who someone truly is. This is because online interactions often lack the depth and nuance of face-to-face conversations, leading individuals to project their own assumptions or positive biases onto the other person.

Coles points out that when we communicate online, there's a tendency to fill in the blanks about someone’s character or personality with positive information. This means that we may overlook or misinterpret negative aspects of a person, believing them to be more perfect or compatible than they actually are. The absence of non-verbal cues, such as body language and tone of voice, can also contribute to this distorted view, as we rely solely on the written word or curated online profiles.

This phenomenon is especially evident in the context of online dating, where individuals often engage in long conversations before ever meeting face-to-face. The idealized version of someone that emerges through digital interactions may not match reality, leading to potential disappointment or disillusionment when the relationship moves offline. Coles is pointing to the dangers of relying too heavily on online communication to judge the authenticity or compatibility of a person.

In essence, Coles’ quote serves as a cautionary reminder about the limitations of digital communication. While online interactions can help people connect, they often lack the full picture of who someone is, creating a sense of familiarity or closeness that may not align with real-life experiences. By acknowledging this, we can approach online communication more critically, understanding that it may not fully capture the complexities of human relationships.