What gay culture is before it is anything else, before it is a culture of desire or a culture of subversion or a culture of pain, is a culture of friendship.

In this quote, Andrew Sullivan highlights the foundational role that friendship plays in gay culture, placing it as the primary element before other aspects like desire, subversion, or pain. He suggests that the initial and core bond within the gay community is one of connection and solidarity, where friendship serves as the bedrock for forming relationships and creating a sense of community. This emphasizes the idea that friendship is a unifying force that transcends other more complex or external characteristics of gay identity.

Sullivan’s statement also draws attention to the way gay culture has historically formed in response to marginalization and adversity. While aspects like desire or subversion might be more visible or often discussed in relation to the gay community, Sullivan suggests that friendship provides the emotional support and foundation for individuals in the community to connect with one another on a deeper level. It’s within friendships that individuals can find understanding, acceptance, and a sense of belonging, which are crucial in navigating social challenges and discrimination.

By placing friendship at the forefront, Sullivan challenges the idea that gay culture is solely defined by external forces such as political activism or sexual identity. Instead, he points to the deep, emotional connections between individuals that create a space for people to live and thrive together. These friendships form the core of how the community builds strength and resilience against the challenges it faces.

Ultimately, Sullivan’s quote underscores the significance of friendship in gay culture, suggesting that it is through these connections that individuals are able to define themselves and support each other. In this way, friendship becomes not only a personal bond but a powerful, collective force that shapes the culture and identity of the gay community.