Such is my experience - not that I ever mourned the loss of a child, but that I consider myself as lost!

Deborah Sampson’s quote, "Such is my experience - not that I ever mourned the loss of a child, but that I consider myself as lost!" reflects a deeply personal reflection on loss and identity. Sampson suggests that while she may not have experienced the specific sorrow of losing a child, she feels a sense of loss in a more abstract sense. This feeling of being "lost" speaks to the emotional void or disconnection she may feel within herself, possibly in relation to her role in society, her personal journey, or a sense of existential uncertainty.

The phrase "I consider myself as lost" emphasizes a profound disorientation or emotional struggle. For Sampson, this feeling of being "lost" could symbolize a loss of direction, purpose, or connection, which is often a more internal and personal form of grief. The comparison to mourning the loss of a child highlights the intensity of her feeling, suggesting that, while her experience may not be tied to a literal death, the emotional weight of feeling lost is just as impactful.

Sampson’s reflection could also speak to her identity as a woman in a society where women’s roles were often constrained. As one of the few women who fought in the American Revolutionary War disguised as a man, she may have felt a sense of being lost in the absence of clear societal validation or recognition. Her statement may reflect the emotional cost of navigating complex identities and societal expectations in an era where women were often marginalized.

The origin of this quote likely lies in Sampson’s unique life experiences, particularly her time as a soldier in the Revolutionary War, where she disguised herself as a man to fight. Her struggle with identity, both in terms of gender and societal roles, may have led to feelings of loss and disconnection, which she expresses poignantly in this quote. This emotional turmoil underscores the inner conflict many people face when they feel disconnected from societal norms or their own sense of purpose.