Friendship is one of our most treasured relationships, but it isn't codified and celebrated; it's never going to give you a party.
Hanya Yanagihara’s quote reflects on the value and complexity of friendship, highlighting that it is one of the most treasured relationships we can have, yet it is often overlooked in society. Unlike more formal relationships, like those tied to family or romantic partnerships, friendship isn't typically marked by grand gestures, celebrations, or ceremonies. Yanagihara points out that while friendship can be deeply meaningful, it doesn't often receive the same public acknowledgment or "celebration" that other types of relationships might.
By saying that friendship "isn’t codified and celebrated," Yanagihara suggests that the significance of a friendship is not always formally recognized or respected in the same way as other bonds. Friendships often thrive in the background of our lives, without the fanfare or societal rituals that accompany romantic love or familial ties. This idea emphasizes the quieter, less visible role that friendships often play, despite their immense emotional value.
The statement “it’s never going to give you a party” implies that friendship doesn’t come with external rewards or public recognition. Friendship, at its core, is an intimate, personal connection that doesn't need to be displayed or celebrated in a dramatic way to be meaningful. Yanagihara suggests that the beauty of friendship lies in its simplicity and the fact that it doesn’t require external validation to be profound.
Originating from Yanagihara’s observations on relationships and the human experience, this quote reflects her nuanced understanding of how friendships are often undervalued in a world that prioritizes more formal or visible connections. As the author of A Little Life, a novel that explores the depths of human relationships, Yanagihara has reflected on how friendship can be both a source of immense support and an underappreciated part of our emotional lives.
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