"Even though we're a week and a half away from Thanksgiving, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas."

"Wal-Mart doesn't really care about your faith. Wal-Mart cares if you have money to spend, and it is going to be as generic as possible in exploiting the holiday season for every buck it can make."

"Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked ladies. Women's magazines also often feature pictures of naked ladies. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is hairy and lumpy and should not be seen by the light of day."

"The truth is that our way of celebrating the Christmas season does spring from myriad cultures and sources, from St. Nicholas to Coca-Cola advertising campaigns."

"I was fortunate to play for Pete Rose and have teammates like Ken Griffey Sr., Tony Perez and Dave Concepcion. I grew up in the game with a mature attitude. I've always known it was better to be seen and not heard."

"Yes, I was in that game where George Brett hit that home run. Billy saw there was too much pine tar on the bat and he went to the umpire, the next thing we knew they were fighting about it."

"I like to hide behind the characters I play. Despite the public perception, I am a very private person who has a hard time with the fame thing."

"My old coach used to say that if you were in it for the match, if you were in it for the trophies, you were in it for the wrong reasons."