"People say you should read your criticism because it will make you a better person but it doesn't. It just makes you a sad bitter old showbiz nightmare."

"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."

"I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there's none of that hopefully."

"There are 10-20 times more male comics than female comics it's something to do with the social structure of society."

"There are two kinds of talent, man-made talent and God-given talent. With man-made talent you have to work very hard. With God-given talent, you just touch it up once in a while."

"That's really my goal now. I'm trying to be a positive role model to my kids and to just enjoy this ride, because it's hard. It's hard to enjoy it when you're in it."

"I know you've heard it a thousand times before. But it's true - hard work pays off. If you want to be good, you have to practice, practice, practice. If you don't love something, then don't do it."

"We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid."