You are almost not free, if you are teaching a group of graduate students, to become friends with one of them. I don't mean anything erotically charged, just a friendship.

In this quote, Marilyn Hacker reflects on the complexities of forming friendships within a professional or academic setting, particularly when working with graduate students. She points out the challenge of becoming friends with students because of the power dynamics at play and the ethical considerations involved. Hacker clarifies that she does not mean romantic or erotic relationships, but rather a genuine friendship, which can still be problematic due to the influence a teacher holds over their students.

Hacker’s comment speaks to the inherent limitations that come with the teacher-student relationship. While friendships are often seen as natural and enriching, in professional settings like academia, they can complicate the dynamic between a teacher and their students. Forming such bonds might blur the lines between authority and equality, potentially leading to challenges in maintaining an objective, professional relationship.

The origin of Hacker’s sentiment likely arises from her own experiences in academia, where she observed the delicate balance that must be maintained between personal connections and professional responsibilities. As someone working in an academic environment, she would have been acutely aware of the potential for bias or favoritism that could arise from personal relationships with students, making it difficult to maintain fairness.

Ultimately, Hacker’s quote highlights the tension between personal and professional roles, where friendship—while natural and desirable—can become difficult to navigate when there are imbalances of power or authority. It serves as a reminder of the ethical challenges that educators face when interacting with their students and the need to carefully manage the boundaries between personal and professional relationships.