Years later I would hear my father say the divorce had left him dating his children. That still meant picking us up every Sunday for a matinee and, if he had the money, an early dinner somewhere.

In this quote, Andre Dubus III reflects on his father’s perspective after his divorce. He recalls hearing his father say that the separation had left him in the position of dating his children, which symbolizes how his relationship with his kids shifted after the divorce. Instead of continuing the typical dynamic of a married couple, Dubus's father now had to find ways to connect and build relationships with his children, whom he might have previously shared with their mother. The term "dating" here is used metaphorically to indicate the effort to maintain or strengthen familial bonds in a new context.

Dubus emphasizes the rituals his father established to maintain this connection, such as picking them up every Sunday for a matinee and, if possible, treating them to an early dinner. These outings represent his father’s attempt to create new traditions and establish a meaningful relationship with his children post-divorce. They reflect a conscious effort to stay involved in their lives despite the change in family structure.

The phrase also speaks to the emotional complexity of life after a divorce, where relationships shift and need to be redefined. By comparing his father’s interactions with his children to dating, Dubus highlights the awkwardness and emotional effort involved in navigating post-divorce familial dynamics. The term underscores the feeling of reinvention that many individuals experience as they try to reconnect and bond in ways that are different from the past.

Ultimately, Dubus’s reflection on his father’s actions provides insight into the adaptation and resilience required in the aftermath of divorce. It reveals how, even after a difficult life change, individuals can still try to preserve important relationships and create new, meaningful moments with loved ones.