We use our parents like recurring dreams, to be entered into when needed.

In this quote, Doris Lessing reflects on the complex, often cyclical relationship between children and their parents. She suggests that, much like recurring dreams, we turn to our parents when we need guidance or emotional support, but not necessarily at all times. The comparison to dreams highlights the unpredictability and intermittency of this relationship; it’s not constant but comes into play when circumstances or emotions call for it. The metaphor of dreams also suggests that, much like dreams, the connection to parents can be both comforting and unsettling.

Lessing’s choice of the word "recurring" implies that the relationship with parents is often revisited in moments of vulnerability or need. Just as dreams recur in cycles, our emotional reliance on our parents tends to surface during pivotal or challenging moments in life. It suggests that, even as we grow and become more independent, the bond with our parents remains something we return to when we are searching for clarity, comfort, or reassurance.

The origin of the quote lies in Lessing's exploration of human relationships, particularly the complexities of family dynamics. Known for her writing on personal identity, societal expectations, and the human condition, Lessing often focused on the tensions between individual growth and familial ties. This quote embodies the idea that, despite the evolution of our own lives, the parent-child relationship remains a foundational and recurring source of influence.

Ultimately, Lessing’s statement points to the emotional dependence we sometimes feel toward our parents, even as we become adults. It speaks to the enduring nature of this connection, where parents are not just figures from the past, but also become a source of emotional support when we need to reflect, seek advice, or find solace, much like the ever-present yet often elusive nature of dreams.