We believe it is bad or dangerous to be carried away by our emotions. We admire the person who is cool, who acts without feeling.

In this quote, Alexander Lowen, a prominent psychiatrist and psychotherapist, explores society’s perception of emotions and the value placed on being emotionally controlled. Lowen suggests that many people view it as bad or dangerous to be overtaken by strong emotions, often seeing emotional expression as a weakness or a liability. Instead, society tends to admire individuals who are cool and detached—those who appear to act without being influenced by their feelings. This reflects a cultural preference for rationality and stoicism over emotional expression.

Lowen’s critique points to the deeper societal belief that emotional expression makes a person vulnerable, unpredictable, or out of control. The idea of being cool or composed often correlates with being perceived as strong and competent in Western culture. However, Lowen challenges this notion by highlighting how it can suppress true emotional experiences, leading to a disconnect between one’s inner self and outward actions.

The quote also touches on the dangers of repressing emotions in the name of appearing stoic or unmoved. By implying that acting without feeling is seen as ideal, Lowen brings attention to the emotional suppression that many individuals face. In his view, the denial or suppression of emotions can lead to psychological distress, as it prevents people from fully experiencing and integrating their feelings into their lives.

Ultimately, Lowen’s statement serves as a reminder of the importance of emotional awareness and expression. He suggests that rather than striving to be emotionless or overly controlled, it is healthier to acknowledge and engage with our emotions in an authentic way. True emotional balance comes from integrating emotions, not from denying or suppressing them.