Pity the selfishness of lovers: it is brief, a forlorn hope; it is impossible.

The quote "Pity the selfishness of lovers: it is brief, a forlorn hope; it is impossible" by Elizabeth Bowen, an Irish writer, reflects her nuanced view on love and its complexities. Bowen is suggesting that selfishness in love, where one partner focuses only on their own desires or needs, is ultimately fleeting and doomed to fail. This selfishness may feel intense in the short term but is ultimately unsustainable, as love that is centered around personal gain rather than mutual care and understanding is bound to collapse. By calling it a "forlorn hope," she implies that such an attitude is a vain and unrealistic attempt at achieving lasting love.

Bowen’s critique highlights the impermanence of love when it is driven by selfish motives. She contrasts selfishness with the idea of true, selfless love, which requires compromise, understanding, and a willingness to put the other person's needs on equal footing. The word impossible at the end of the quote suggests that genuine love cannot thrive when rooted in selfish desires. Love, according to Bowen, must be built on more than just personal yearning—it requires deeper emotional and mutual investment.

The origin of this quote comes from Bowen's reflections on love and relationships, which she often explored in her novels and essays. Her works, such as The Death of the Heart and The Hotel, frequently delve into the intricacies of human emotions and the often painful realities of romantic relationships. Bowen’s writing often touches on the transience of emotions, particularly the fragility of love when it is not nurtured with care and mutual respect.

Ultimately, Bowen’s quote serves as a cautionary statement about the limitations of selfish love. It encourages a deeper understanding of love that goes beyond individual desire, promoting the idea that true love requires selflessness and emotional maturity. The quote reminds us that love based solely on selfishness cannot provide lasting fulfillment and will inevitably lead to disappointment, while genuine connection thrives on mutual respect and care.