If you go out to dinner with someone, you find out what they prefer in food. We ought to be able to have a conversation to find out what people prefer when it comes to sex.

The quote by Betty Dodson — “If you go out to dinner with someone, you find out what they prefer in food. We ought to be able to have a conversation to find out what people prefer when it comes to sex.” — challenges societal taboos around sexual communication by drawing a comparison to something as simple and socially accepted as talking about food preferences. Dodson uses this analogy to argue that just as we openly discuss our culinary likes and dislikes, we should also feel comfortable discussing sexual desires, boundaries, and needs with one another.

The origin of this quote comes from Dodson’s decades of work as a sex educator, artist, and feminist activist. Known for her advocacy of sexual liberation and self-exploration, particularly for women, Dodson was a pioneer in promoting open, shame-free dialogue about sex. Her approach was rooted in the belief that communication is the foundation of both pleasure and consent, and that silence or stigma around sexuality often leads to misunderstanding, frustration, and disconnection.

By comparing sex to dinner conversation, Dodson normalizes the idea that talking about intimate preferences should not be awkward or taboo—it should be part of a healthy relationship dynamic. This statement reflects her broader mission: to create a culture where sexual honesty, respect, and curiosity are embraced rather than suppressed. She believed that when people are empowered to speak openly, they can better experience mutual satisfaction and emotional intimacy.

Ultimately, Dodson’s quote is a call to open communication and emotional maturity in relationships. It highlights the importance of treating sexual preferences with the same respect and openness we give to everyday choices, reinforcing that honest conversations are not just helpful, but essential to truly knowing and caring for one another.