I spent a lot of years trying to outrun or outsmart vulnerability by making things certain and definite, black and white, good and bad. My inability to lean into the discomfort of vulnerability limited the fullness of those important experiences that are wrought with uncertainty: Love, belonging, trust, joy, and creativity to name a few.

Brené Brown’s quote, “I spent a lot of years trying to outrun or outsmart vulnerability by making things certain and definite, black and white, good and bad. My inability to lean into the discomfort of vulnerability limited the fullness of those important experiences that are wrought with uncertainty: Love, belonging, trust, joy, and creativity to name a few,” reflects her deep understanding of the human experience and the role vulnerability plays in connection, growth, and creativity. Brown, a well-known researcher on vulnerability and courage, describes how she spent years trying to avoid the discomfort that comes with being emotionally open and uncertain. She believed that by making things certain and dividing them into simple categories like good and bad, she could protect herself from pain or emotional exposure.

However, Brown acknowledges that this approach ultimately limited her ability to experience the richness of life. By avoiding vulnerability and embracing only what felt secure and clear-cut, she missed out on the depth of important experiences. Love, for example, isn’t always clear or safe—it requires openness to uncertainty and the risk of being hurt. Similarly, belonging, trust, joy, and creativity are inherently messy, complex, and uncertain, and require a willingness to embrace vulnerability in order to truly experience their fullness.

The quote also speaks to the growth that comes from accepting vulnerability as an integral part of life. Brown’s realization is that uncertainty and discomfort are not something to avoid, but to lean into, because they are the very things that allow us to experience the depth of human connection and creativity. Vulnerability, she argues, is not a weakness but a strength—it’s the space where meaningful relationships are built, where we feel a sense of belonging, and where we can express our true selves without fear of judgment.

In essence, Brené Brown’s words emphasize that by avoiding vulnerability, we are also avoiding some of life’s most profound and transformative experiences. Only by embracing the discomfort of being open, uncertain, and imperfect can we truly connect with others and create lives filled with meaning, trust, and joy. The quote encourages us to step beyond our desire for certainty and embrace the messiness of life in all its uncertain beauty.