I seem to be thinking rationally again in the style that is characteristic of scientists. However, this is not entirely a matter of joy as if someone returned from physical disability to good physical health.

In this quote, John Forbes Nash, Jr. reflects on his mental state and the return to rational thinking after a period of mental health challenges. He acknowledges that his thinking is now in the style characteristic of scientists, implying that he has regained the clarity and logical reasoning that defines the work of a scientist. However, Nash notes that this recovery is not simply a joyful return to normalcy, as it might be for someone who regains their physical health after an illness.

Nash’s comparison suggests that while he is relieved to be thinking clearly again, the process of recovering his rationality is not without its complexities. It is not just about returning to a state of health, but about the emotional and psychological challenges that accompany such a recovery. The quote highlights that intellectual or mental recovery is not always purely positive, as it can bring its own set of challenges, including confronting past difficulties or dealing with the aftermath of a prolonged struggle with mental health.

The reference to thinking "in the style of scientists" indicates that Nash’s identity and sense of self were closely tied to his intellectual abilities. As a renowned mathematician, his ability to think logically and rationally was a crucial part of his life and career. Regaining this ability, therefore, represents not only a return to normalcy but also a return to his identity as a thinker and a contributor to the scientific community.

Ultimately, Nash’s quote illustrates the complexity of mental health recovery. While returning to rational thinking may seem like a straightforward positive development, for Nash, it is tinged with a sense of ambivalence. The journey back to cognitive clarity involves both relief and the emotional weight of past struggles, making it a more nuanced experience than simply regaining health.