I grew up in a family that was very barbed and difficult, and there was a lot of humor. None of it was painless humor. All of it was at someone else's expense. It was kind of always about power.

In this quote, John Wells reflects on the kind of humor he grew up with in his family. He describes it as being barbed and difficult, suggesting that the humor was sharp, often biting, and sometimes painful. Rather than being lighthearted or carefree, the humor was at someone else’s expense, indicating that it often involved making fun of others or pointing out their flaws. This type of humor wasn't about shared enjoyment but rather about power dynamics, with the humor used as a way to assert dominance or control in the family.

Wells points out that this humor was not painless, meaning it likely had a harsh or even cruel edge. Rather than bonding or creating warmth, it was a tool for navigating difficult or tense family relationships. The idea that humor was often at someone else's expense shows that it was more about mockery than inclusion, and it likely contributed to a sense of discomfort or insecurity within the family.

The mention of power in the quote indicates that humor, in this context, served as a means of exerting control. By making others the target of jokes or ridicule, those who held the power in the family could maintain their dominance over the weaker or more vulnerable members. This type of humor reflects a more complex relationship with laughter, one that isn’t just about fun, but about positioning and influence.

Ultimately, Wells’s quote highlights how humor can be shaped by the dynamics of a particular environment, in this case, a family. The humor he experienced wasn’t just about amusement; it was intertwined with power, control, and the relationships that defined his upbringing. This reflects the darker side of humor, where it’s used not to uplift but to divide or dominate.